Loving Honor
Marriage is a God-inspired connection of two people, that has as its goal: to fill the earth, to emphasize the divine Community and to fulfill deep emotional needs. Yes, one could say more about marriage goals, but I want you to keep reading, so I will keep it concise. I have been doing a series of articles for a Church of Christ magazine called “Das Feste Fundament” on the subject of marriage and I wanted to share the last article that I just wrote. In the series I have talked about:
- holy marriage, how we are to help one another grow closer to God.
- a type of love that focuses on your partner and the image of God that dwells inside them. How do we react and interact with this child of God?
- Adam and Eve and God’s first “Not good!” statement. Man and wife build a unit, in order to fulfill God’s Plan for His world.
- the five love languages from Gary Chapman’s book of the same name: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
As I have looked back over these topics, I realize how important these areas are, but also how much more one could say about marriage. At the risk of sounding like a broken record: our world today needs to focus more on this important connection – one person to another, blessed by our God. In this fifth article about marriage, I focused on a topic that we often overlook: Honor.
The first full week of January found myself and a group of about 18 people in Cologne, Germany for the annual Advanced Seminar. This seminar is organized on the German side by a group of four men, myself included and on the American side by Rick Oster and the Ministry for Theological Education at Harding School of Theology. Our presenter this year was Evertt Huffard speaking on the Christian-Muslim Encounter. One of the main points, which he learned through his experience living in the Holy Lands, had to do with honor and how we in the West so often misunderstand and/or underestimate the influence and value of honor. As we read through various Texts from God’s Word, I became aware once again, how important honor is in marriage. First a couple of definitions:
1 a: good name or public esteem: Reputation b: a showing of merited respect: Recognition. 2: Privilege 3: a person of superior standing – now used as a title for a holder of high office. (Webster)
1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions: a man of honor. (Dictionary.com)
This is what many people think about when they consider the word honor…if they do at all. Like I already said: in the West the question of honor is not usually high on our list of values. In the West we are much more “practical” in that we “honor” freedom of opinion, equality and love than we do honor. This value you find stressed in Eastern countries. Honor does not appeal to us (unless you are in the military, have a favorite sport team/player or have brought this value with you from another cultural context) and for some it is a dangerous topic, especially here in Germany when the subject of the world wars comes up. There is a problem though of ignoring honor: it is talked about in God’s Word; quite a lot! Here is a small sampling:
Moses wants to see God’s Glory/Honor (the word in Hebrew is the same). But he cannot, due to the fact that in doing so, he would die. God allows him, though, to see His “back” (Exodus 33:18). In the next chapter as Moses is holding the tablets of stone, before God writes in them, we read:
6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, 7 maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation. (Exodus 34:6-7, NIV)
We can see God’s Glory, His Honor and that includes: compassion, grace, slowness to anger, love, faithfulness and justice. From our perspective, it is through the Person of Jesus Christ, where we can best see God’s Glory. The Greek word is doxa. Perhaps it would be good to let the Word speak at this point from John’s and Paul’s perspective.
John 1:14 - The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory (doxa), the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Colossians 1:27 - To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory (doxa).
We experience the Glory of God in Jesus and participate with Him, when we choose to be compassionate, patient, gracious, faithful and just.
John 15:8 - This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Galatians 5,22-23 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
But the ability to do this, does not lie with us. In fact we dishonor God when we say, that this ability comes from us. It is a gift and normally we are thankful when someone gives us a gift.
Romans 3:23-24 - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
So, what does honor and glory have to do with marriage? Our highest priority as Christians is to rediscover the image of God; in us and in those around us. For me that happened when I said “Yes” to Jesus and celebrated it in baptism, then began a process of regaining His Glory. Jesus even prayed for it:
John 17:17 - Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.
But Jesus did not stop praying there:
John 17:18-19 - As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Our job is to reinstall God’s image. It has become corrupted, in me, in you, in my wife and kids, neighbors, friends and enemies. What a marvelous opportunity. What a blessing for your marriage and family! The emphasis is to become God’s image as you move about His Kingdom, demonstrating His Glory. How can I be more patient, compassionate, grace-giving, and faithful? An important question needs to be asked at this point. What must first occur in me, so that the path is clear(er) to love my wife or husband, to treasure this person and submit to him or her? This path may not be so simple. It may be at times, like a nice stroll on the beach, but at other times like my most-feared mountain bike trail, full of rocks, roots and other reckless people. Those who only look at the path, could become quickly winded and discouraged. But we are encouraged to look to THE One who has overcome, who has gone before us and shown us how to live this Kingdom kind of life…Jesus Christ. He honored God by His life.
Personally, when I look at Jesus and reflect on His life, I find myself often becoming thankful. (Someday I will be perfected and that “often” will become “always”.) And it is awfully difficult to find something negative to say about thankfulness.
I would like to encourage you to reflect on God’s Word regarding honor. If you have some additional comments about this eternal value, please write!
God bless and keep you.
